Path To Healing by Bonnie Moss

It is within us to explore and draw upon our inner resources to heal. Some wounds are embedded so deeply that no amount of professional expertise can cure, much less heal.

A famous Yale surgeon says that as a surgeon, he cuts into the body, but he can not order the wound to heal. Ultimately, it through our efforts that healing can occur.

The path to healing is a personal choice. It is a path where you choose to piece together the fragments and make it” whole” again. It paves the way to self-discovery, to open the door to your inner self and experience inner harmony. And ultimately, come to meet the child within that has longed for your love, care and attention. The child within that is forgotten, pushed to the background, lurks in the shadows, but waits patiently.

What needs healing?

Childhood trauma:

The imprint of childhood experience is a powerful force. An expectant mother who lives through a stressful situation during pregnancy shares the burden with the unborn child.

Years ago, domestic matters were never discussed openly, especially issues about abuse, violence, neglect, abandonment and other related matters. Today, society is more aware of the potential or actual existence of abuse and violence in the home. Tragic that the innermost and safest sanctuary society depends upon can be the most dangerous.

These are issues that take its toll on the young victims. They grow up with wounds, carry them around like a heavy load on their shoulders. Some never get over their trauma, it turns up at the most unexpected moment to haunt them; yet, there are those who are lucky enough to confront it and use it to propel themselves to a healthier and successful relationships and life itself.

When love is a venom:

How many hearts have known pain all in the name of love. It invades lives from all walks of life, social status, add to that race or creed. No one wants to suffer pain, but it does happen. Healing a broken heart, picking up the pieces of broken hopes and dreams, suffer the betrayal, endure shattered self-image, re-live the haunting nightmares, the violation of one’s innermost being, soul and spirit.

The most traumatic of all is the violation that comes from those who are supposed to provide a nurturing environment to those who are entrusted to their care. All in the guise of love.

Grief

The loss of a loved one can be most devastating. Sometimes one did not have a chance to bid their last farewell. It was all too sudden. Or one passes away after a lingering illness, with the relief that the suffering is over comes the grief of the loss. At one point and time in one’s life, grief is a reality.

Guilt

Wrong turns, wrong choices, wrong decisions. We all take wrong turns, make wrong decisions and choices. This is a human trait that not even the saintliest of the saints has not experienced. We stumble, we fall, but many of us manage to get up and get on with life. The losses incurred at times are life-threatening, or at the cost of financial comfort and security or worst, relationships are threatened, lost or innocently or unconsciously sacrificed.

Wearing guilt on your face, in your heart, in your being invites negative vibrations and digs you deeper into the mire. Take a look at those sad eyes, the window of the soul, and you’ll know. However, this is not a dead-end!

Unfulfilled dreams and hopes

Live your dream, ride on the wings of hope; this will not always work out. One day you wake up and realize your dream never materialized and languish over the many years you spent trying to pursue that dream! In the meantime, time, opportunities and life passed you by. Hope can lead to disappointment – realize this. When all hopes are dashed, what have you got?

Path to healing:

Healing is a complex matter.

Who has never felt the pains of suffering, be it physical, mental, emotional, material and spiritual. Even our dear Mother Earth is in desperate need of healing from the abuse inflicted upon her through man’s recklessness, negligence and lack of respect.

There are avenues open to healing. One may choose to spend time with a professional, seek comfort from related groups, but always, healing has to start with one.

It is important to acknowledge the pain, to recognize the cause, to be able to integrate the fragmented pieces and be willing to take it to the next step to be “whole” again.

Healing extends beyond the physical state – when one hurts deeply, the spirit; the soul also bears the pain. It is a pain that comes in hauntingly in the dark of the night, it fills a once loving heart with venom, it could ravage a once healthy mind and body beneath a once beautiful and graceful soul is the mask of vengeance.

Blocks to healing:

But, sometimes, the path to healing is full of potholes. Indeed, the path is covered with blocks, where healing can not be accomplished, it almost out of reach. Impediments on the path: denial, apathy, self-absorption and self-indulgence, addiction, putting up walls and barriers, busy-bee syndrome, compartmentalizing, isolation, withdrawal from society, cynicism, loss of faith, trust and compassion, self-pity, poor–me syndrome, anger, fear of getting hurt again, martyr complex, neurosis or psychosis, aggressive / oppressive, confrontational, guilt complex, resignation.

Disclaimer:

Sometimes, we hurt those we love most deeply; likewise, we bear the pain they cause. This is a personal essay, it does not in any way deny the importance of seeking professional help when indicated. However, it is acknowledged that one must want to heal, must understand what needs healing, must be willing to accept the need to heal – all the expert advise and professional help can not be effective otherwise.